Cersei's Conundrum
by Samuel Doubrava
Summary: Something strange is happening in King's Landing, and Cersei must prepare to defend King's Landing from forces who wish to take the Iron Throne for themselves.
1. Chapter 1

********** JOFFREY **********

King Joffrey awoke from his slumber after what felt like a year. Instantaneously, he felt his stomach twist into a knot. Just the night before, he remembered, his arrogance had led to the death of the butcher's boy.

Joffrey rose from his bed and stumbled toward the door, barely awake.

It wasn't a pleasant thought to him, as such things had usually been... He had done many distasteful things, in fact... It felt like only yesterday that he had sentenced Lord Eddard...

_Oh. _Joffrey's thoughts were abruptly cut by what he saw. He felt the knot in his stomach twist even tighter. In front of him stood another Joffrey; his younger self, before he ascended the throne. _That's _why he felt as though he had slept for a year. It had been... A negative year! He had gone back in time!

_No, this is good,_ he thought. _I've come back for a reason... I've come back to make right all of my wrongs. I will begin by saving Lord Eddard._

********** CERSEI **********

Cersei was beginning to panic._ He's not there. He's not anywhere. _She had already checked Joffrey's room and spoke with the men guarding his door. He was just... gone. She continued to walk massively toward the throne room, hoping to find him there. She arrived at the door, but it refused to open. Cersei twisted and turned the doorknob with all her strength, but the door still wouldn't budge because it was Sansa.

"Oh, hello, Your Grace." Sansa said calmly.

"Little Dove." Cersei replied, her voice shaking. "Joffrey is gone."

"But where is he?" Sansa replied. She gasped. "Or... _when _is he?" They both shuddered at the thought.

"It doesn't matter..." said Cersei. "What's done is done. Joffrey is gone, and the Battle of Blackwater Bay is just around the corner. Our armies will have no will to fight without their king to lead them, and my imp of a brother killed our father Tywin, the only man capable of saving us, just like he tried to poison Joffrey. All is lost."

"No. All is not lost." said Sansa. "The people need their king. You must be their king, Cersei. You must disguise yourself as Joffrey and lead them into battle."

"So be it." Cersei replied.

Sansa smirked. _I am leading Cersei to her death! How dare her vicious son kill the butcher's boy! If Joffrey is not here to pay the price, she will! Hahahaha!_

********** DAENERYS **********

"Ready yourselves, unsullied!" Daenerys spoke. "Tonight, we sail for King's Landing where I will retake the throne that is rightfully mine! If there are any among you who wish to go free, who does not wish to fight in the Battle of Blackwater Bay, I ask that you step forward."

A small number of unsullied, about 20, stepped away from the rest. With the slightest nod of her head, her dragons immediately burned them alive.

"HAHA you sure showed those assholes." Ser Barristan said.

"Yes." said Daenerys. "And so too will I show Jorah when I find him, that damn traitor. Let us sail."


	2. Chapter 2

********** DAENERYS **********

"Have you ever heard the tale of the young king, my queen?" Ser Barristan asked.

"No." She replied.

"Once aPun a time, or so they say, there was a young Lannister king who committed many atrocities. One day, he was given the chance to make up for his sins, and was sent back in time to stop his past self, but he chose not to."

"Surely such a thing cannot be true." Daenerys said confidenatly..

"I agree." Jorah said skeptically. "This isn't Star Trek, Ser Barristan." He grabbed Daenerys by her sides and they kissed passinetly.

"Even so," Barristan continued, "they say that one day, the young king will be reborn and given another chance."

"I wonder who he could be?" Daenerys wondered aloud.

"We have arrived, my Queen." Jorah said. "It is time for the Battle of Blackwater Bay to begin."

********** CERSEI **********

"Are you ready, King Joffrey?" The Hound asked.

"Yes." Cersei replied, disguised as Joffrey. It's a good thing Jaqen happened to be passing by in Kings Landing earlier that day to teach her how to be a faceless woman. "This battle will prove to all that I am worthy of the throne."

Deep down, Cersei continued to worry for Joffrey's safety. _Is it really possible for him to have been sent back in time? No... It was just a silly comment by Sansa. Why do I continue to worry myself over it?_

"But no one questions you, my King." The Mountain said, entering the room. He walked up to The Hound and they kissed too. "You ain't nothin' but a hound dog."

"Stop, stop!" The Hound said, pushing The Mountain away, who looked hurt. The Hound pointed off into the distance. "Look, it's Daenerys. She is here!"

**Next chapter... a big reveal!**


	3. Chapter 3

********** JOFFREY **********

_Right. _Joffrey thought. _Today is the day of Ned's execution. I must make it there to stop myself from doing what was done._ On his way, however, he stopped by the throne room.

"My son." A voice said. Joffrey stood there, looking, frozen in shock. Before him stood Robert Baratheon, his father.

"F-..Father!" Joffrey barely managed to say.

"Joffrey, my son. Welcome back. It was by my doing that you were able to return here to this day on the day that you were sent back. I have a truth to reveal to you. I... am not your father."

"I know." Joffrey said. "I am the son of Jaime and Cersei Lannister."

"No." Robert said. "You are the son of Lord Eddard Stark."

The shock from hearing this was so great that Joffrey fell asleep.

********** TYRION **********

Tyrion felt weak from carrying his father's corpse such a long way, but Varys was generous enough to offer help when needed. At long last, they made it where they needed to be, and Tyrion carefully placed his father's corpse on a ritual symbol.

"666..." He muttered to himself. "666..."

"What are you doing, Lord Tyrion?" Varys quipped confusededely.

"I'm sorry, Lord Varys, but I cannot allow you to send word to King's Landing." Tyrion said, slowly walking toward him. Tyrion plunged a knife through his heart. "Goodbye."

Then, behind Tyrion, a dark figure slowly began to rise up.

"Ah, yes." Tyrion said. "At last, Father, you have returned to me. Or should I call you... Mister Stoneheart!"

**REVIEW PLS NOOBS**


	4. Chapter 4

********** DAENERYS **********

"Men... prepare to attack!" Daenerys screamed at the top of lung.

She had to admit that she was feeling a little bit nervous. This is the moment that her hold life had been building up to, when she can finally pass the throne on to her brother Viserys. He seemed to be confident, as always, but Dany knew her brother better than that. _I wonder if he will make a good king?_

"We are ready to begin the siege of King's Landing at your command, my Queen." Jorah said to her. "The imp has been exiled so he will not be able to follow through with his plan of using wildfire to destroy our ships."

Just then, however, a dark figure emerged from a shadow on the ship.

"Wh... Who are you?!" Daenerys creamed.

"I WILL KILL YOU ASSHOLE!" Jorah said as he walked massively toward the figure, lifting his sword high above his head.

"**I... am Mister Stoneheart**." The dark figure answered. "**And prepare to meet your doom!**"

********** JOFFREY **********

"How is this possible you fucking liar?" Joffrey asked fightly. "I will kill you if you ever say such a thing again."

"Look you little shit I'm telling you the truth ok?" Robbert said annoyedely. "On the night that you were born your bitch mother cheated on me with Ned Stark. I will never forgive her for that. That is why I have bruoght you back to this time where you once were, so that you can kill Cersei for me and avenge my name!"

"You're not my father you asshole!" Joffrey said defiantly. "I will save my father's life and take yours!" Joffrey plunged a dagger through Robert's face.

"You... you will regret this." Robert said. "By doing this you have altered the future you fool. Goodbye" and he died.

Then Joffrey went to the place where Ned last was on the day when he was executed by him. But... nobody was there!

_Shit. _Joffrey thought. _By killing Robert... Ned never became hand of the King!_

********** CERSEI **********

Cersei wrapped her arms around Ned.

"I'm so glad that my fool of a husband Robert died all those months ago." Cersei said. "You are the rightful king, Ned, and the realm will prosper under your rule."

"I think so too sweetiepie." Ned said. "I think so too."

Lord Tywin walked into the room. "Greetings, your Grace." He said. "I have come here today to bring you disturbing news. Joffrey is missing."

"WHAT?!" Cersei screimed in disbelief. "GO FIND HIM IMMEDI-.." Cersei's thoughts were cut off by a sudden realization. _Wait... Have we not been over this before? Yes... I see... Joffrey really was sent to the past, Sansa was right... and now we are living in a different future because of it..._

"I see." Cersei's voice changed suddenly. "Then we only have one option. Bring the best scientists in the realm to this place immediately. We must construct a time machine to save our son, Ned."

**NEXT WEEK... AN EVEN MORE LARGER REVEAL! PLS POST REVIEWS GIVE FEEDBACK**


	5. Chapter 5

********** JOFFREY **********

_Ok... _Joffrey thought to himself. _I'm stuck in the past and Robert is dead... but my real father is alive. I must further the Stark family name with my neosperm and help Ned take the iron throne._ _Who is the best candidate for my wife? Ah... Lady Sansa..._

Joffrey went to the place where he was when he fought the Butcher's boy.

_There I am... I see myself walking with Sansa... I need to stop myself..._

Joffrey slowly climbed down from the top of the tree that he was standing on.

"Lady Sansa!" He shouted. "You are with an impostor! I am the real Joffrey!"

"What on earth?!" other Joffrey said. "Go the fuck away you loser!"

But Joffrey did not listen, and plunged a dagger through the heart of his past self and watched as he bled out.

"My love..." Sansa said as Joffrey infected her with his neosperm. "I will give you a son and together we will take the iron throne for our father. BUT WAIT! You just killed your past self! Joffrey, won't you die?!"

"No, my queen." He said confidently. "That fucking loser of my past self is dead, and I have been reborn. Let us go." And they left.

********** THE HOUND **********

The Hound and The Mountain were singing and happy with eachother.

"Wait... don't we hate eachother?" The Mountain said.

"Oh yes that's right... someone is messing with time..." The Hound said.

"Well then prepare to for your doom!" The Mountain said.

**Next chapter... Cleganebowl!**


	6. Chapter 6

********** JOFFREY **********

"Lady Sansa..." Joffrey said quietly, a hint of anxiety in his voice.

"What's wrong, my love?" She replied, holding their baby boy.

"Lady Sansa, things must go back to the way they were." Joffrey said. "Before I messed with time."

"What? But... no!" She said, tears falling from her face.

"Using our son I will go back in time again to stop myself from ever meddling in things. What I did was a mistake."

"OUR MARRIAGE WAS NOT A MISTAKE!" Sansa screamed, more tears flowing from her face.

"Lady Sansa..."

They sat in quiet for several minutes. Joffrey didn't regret injecting Sansa with his neosperm, not after he had already meddled with time. But this had to come to an end.

"J...JOFFREY!" Sansa screamed. "OUR SON!" Joffrey's son had chocked on Sansa's tears and died.

"FUCK YO BITCH NOW I CANT GO BACK AND FIX THINGS" JOFFREY STEAMED. He took out his dagger and stabbed Sansa in the heart. "FUCK WHAT DO I DO NOW, THE FUTURE HAS BEEN FURTHERED ALTERED"

_Hmm... _Joffrey thought. _My past self is dead, so there is no one to execute Ned Stark... If I want to set the future back on the right track... maybe I need to call for his execution and then change my mind? Genius!_

********** EDDARD **********

"What is the meaning of this, Your Grace?!" Ned cried. "Have I not been a loyal servant?"

"Shut your mouth, traitor." Joffrey said. "You killed my father and tried to take the throne for yourself." Of course, Joffrey knew, that in this timeline it was really him who had killed his father. Still, events would play out exactly as they were supposed to anyway... except that Sansa was gone.

"So long as I am your king, treason will never be tolerated. Ser Ilyn... Bring me his head!" Joffrey shouted, and the crowd cheered. Joffrey knew that Arya was a few yards away behind a statue, watching. _I will just have to make her my new wife_.

As Ser Ilyn stepped up to Lord Eddard, sword in hand, Joffrey interrupted him and the cheers of the crowd. "WAIT!... I changed... my mind!" There was gapss from the crowd. "We should be merciful like that old man said" (AN: what was his name anyway? pls tell I may use him later)

Cersei walked up to Joffrey, screaming. "How dare you do this motherfucker? You are ruining everything!"

"Shut up!" Joffrey screamed, and he plunged a dagger into Cersei's heart. "I will do as I please, you evil woman!" And Cersei died.

But just then... Daenerys sailed into the room!

"Ha ha ha! Stupid asshole Joffrey!" Daenerys said. "You have altered time and that has helped me speed up my plans! I will kill you here!"


	7. Chapter 7

********** JOFFREY **********

"Alright...it's time to end this here!" Joffrey said. "I will kill you Daenerys Stormborn of tArgeryen, slayer of dragons and breaker of chains"

"No you will die fucker" Daenerys said amnd she sent dragons on Joffrey and he died.

"No... no..." Joffrey screamed as he burned. "NO!" Joffrey's flames astinquished and he ran up to daeneyrs and started punching her massively. "HELP ME MY LOVE" she said as Viserys and Jorah started running toward Joffrey.

"I WILL KILL U U BASTARD" Viserys said, breathing fire everwhere. And then Jorah breathed even more fire and everything was on fire and Joffrey caught fire again.

"NO... IT'S TIME TO END THIS HERE" Joffrey shouted angrily. "I WILL DESTROY YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL DAENERYS STORMBORN." Joffrey felt the goasts of Robert and Cersei guide his spear through Daenerys's heart. And time went back to normal back to the beginning of the story but Joffrey didn't wake up in the past.

The end.


	8. Chapter 8

NVM changed my mind it's not over guys!

********** JOFFREY **********

"NO... IT'S TIME TO END THIS HERE" Joffrey shouted angrily. "I WILL DESTROY YO UONCE AND FOR ALL DAENERYS STORMBORN." Joffrey felt the goasts of Robert and Cersei guide his spear through Daenerys's heart.

"OMG HOW COULD YOU DO THIS YOU FKCING ASSHOLE" Daenerys Jorah and Viserys said in unison.

"This ends here." Joffrey said and he saved his father Ned Stark from his beheading.

"Thank you my son, we have much to discuss quickly come with me" Ned said running away and Joffrey followed.

"My son there is something you must know" Ned said. "Something very important, more important than life or death and if you don't hear this the entire world will be in danger."

"Ok" Joffrey said. "Tell me." But just then Ned Stark was killed by Daenerys who chased them.

"YOU BITCH" Joffrey said. "Ha ha ha" Daenerys said "Now I will kill you all."

********** TYRION **********

"Mister Stoneheart." Tyrion said. "We have to help Joffrey defeated Daenerys. I need you to go there quickly."

"Indeed." Mister Stoneheart said. "But that is an order I cannot follow. I will not put my life at risk."

"Fucker what did you say?!" Tyrion said deathily. "You will do as I command!"

"I'm sorry but I cannot put my life at risk, I have a family to look after." Stoneheart replied.

"What? Who?"

"You have heard of Lady Stoneheart, I presume? I have married her and we had a kid. I cannot leave them behind, please Tyrion understand."

"Fuck you" Tyrion said. "You will go or I will kill you myself! In fact I'll kill you anyway!" And Tyrion stabbed him in the jagular.

"NOOOO!" Lady SToneheart exploded from the wall. "TYRION LANNISER NOW YO UWILL DIE."


	9. Chapter 9

********** TYRION **********

"TYRION LANNISTER NOW YOU WILL DIE" Lady Stoneheart said as she plunged a dagger evilly through his chest.

"I... I have failed my family." Tyrion said saddilly as he bled out and died.

"Now Tyrion Lannister you will serve me." Lady Stoneheart said as she drew an evil ritual symbol. "666... 666..." And Tyrion's eyes opened and he became Tyrion Stoneheart!

"I am yours forever." Tyrion said all servantly.

But just then Daenerys jumped into the room!

"WHERE IS JOFFREY" she creamed so loud that the building shook. "I WILL KILL HIM AND END THIS WAR AND AVENGE MY FATHER!"

********** CERSEI **********

"Are you sure about this, Your Grace?" Sansa asked scaredly. "The Battle of Blackwater will be a dangerous one."

"Yes," Cersei said. "The people need their king to lead them while Joffrey is busy with Daenerys. Before Tyrion left to go help him he filled the sea with fire and now we will blow it up when the enemy arrives."

"YOU'RE GOING TO TRUST THE WORK OF THAT FUCKER?" Sansa said shockedley.

"Don't worry Sansa the Hound has promised me that it will all work properly. (A/N btw the Hound beat the Mountain)"

"So Joffrey really never was sent back in time then?" Sansa asked.

"No, he just went to kill Daenerys." Cersei said.

"OH MY GOD THEY'RE HERE" The Hound said.

ELSEWHERE...

"Ha ha ha" Bran said. "I am the true heir to Winterfell and I'm gonna kill everybody."


	10. Chapter 10

HI GUYS I'm back after a long break... the fanfic will get much better from now on.

********** JOFFREY **********

Daenerys approached him super fast, maybe the fastest thing he had ever seen. She was running faster than ever with a dagger pointed at Joffrey's heart. But Joffrey looked until her warm, loving, eyes and fell in love and so did Daenerys.

"ily Joffrey" Daenerys said motherly.

"ily too babe." Joffrey said in a manly way.

"The war will end now." Daenerys said. "It was all a scherade, I never wanted to kill you. I invaded King's Landing so that I could meet you and fall in love with you. And it was SO worth it."

But just then, a voice came from behind the door!

"kill... kill..." A with grey skin like the stonehearts crawled out of the closet. It was baby stoneheart!

"OMG It's baby stoneheart." Joffrey esclamed.

"Let's keep him my love." Daenerys said. "We will start a family together. Let's go home."

But just then, another voice came!

"Joffrey Baratheon... for your sins it is time for you to die an honorable death!" and Ned Stark charged in with a giant sword and chopped Daenerys's stupid fucking head off. "FUCKING BITCH" he screamed and started waving the sword everywhere.

TO BE CONTINUED...


End file.
